Been there Done That

Ensure Your Foundation is Stable

The neighborhood I reside in is extremely active with new construction. Seemingly overnight a vacant lot will be transformed into a three bedroom, two bath living space for a new homeowner to start making memories. 

Burrowing Owl

A particular home sits on a corner lot. One day it was a Burrowing Owl habitat and now it proudly displays the newest home that was built in our neighborhood. I know this because I can see it from my front yard but I also have walked past this corner at least five days a week since I moved in almost eighteen months ago. 

The yard had been graded and the workers were there to install the beautiful paver driveway.  Not even a month had gone by when we had a torrential downpour. Not thinking anything about it, I went for a walk the following day and just as I do every other time, I passed this house. A portion of the driveway had fallen into a newly created sinkhole. 

Newly Paved Driveway

Partially fixed

As the days passed the hole in the driveway sat there, continuing to get worse as the rain came and nothing had been done to repair the problem. Finally someone had come out to regrade the yard, but the driveway was still sporting a hole. It took about two more weeks when finally the hole was fixed but there was a mess of what looked like concrete coming out from under the driveway onto the newly graded yard. 

I cringe to think what problems the new homeowner will have with the driveway because the problem was covered up with a quick fix instead of looking for the main cause. 

Fixed Driveway

As I watched this scenario play out with the newly constructed home, it made me think about relationships.

So many times I have witnessed women finally finding their voice and getting out of a relationship that is toxic and dysfunctional but they didn’t take time to fix the foundation (themselves). The loneliness was too much to bear so at the first sign of someone paying attention to them, they jumped into a new relationship or even an old one with the hopes of a different outcome. 

I can’t tell you how many times I have talked with women and the same statement was said “They said they were sorry.” And within six months, if  it lasted that long, there was another hole that needed repairing. 

The challenge is taking the time to repair ourselves because if we don’t, we will attract the same type of toxic dysfunction over and over again. 

Did you know that on average, it takes a victim seven times to leave before staying away for good and 75% of women will die at the hand of their abuser as they are attempting to leave. 

Also, one out of every three women will be abused at some point in her life.

Why am I so passionate about women finding their voice? 

With my self-worth in the tank as a teen, if God had not intervened, my story would have been written differently. Also in 2011, I was attacked, not by a domestic partner but my injuries were the same as  two women who were acquaintances of a friend, they were attacked by their domestic partners. They weren’t as fortunate as I to have lived.  They both were trying to get out of their situation and became part of the 75%. 

This is why I am so passionate about helping women find their voice. 

Finding your voice isn’t just about getting out of an abusive relationship, it is about finding your self-worth in who God says you are. 

As I became involved in our local church, I would have women remind me of God’s love, but I was advised that simply reading the Bible would solve everything. However, the real issue was that no one demonstrated how to truly connect with God or make His teachings relevant to my daily challenges. Instead, they just urged me to sort it out on my own.

This is why I love showing women how using God’s Word helps you live a transformed life. And to quote my husband it is not out of a legalistic requirement but an irresistible response for what He has done for us. 

The process isn’t an easy one and it requires a lot of sacrifice. 

Many times, it involves unlearning a behavior that you once believed to be normal from your upbringing. Transforming destructive patterns into healthy loops requires significant effort. You also have to realize that you didn’t just get into this lifestyle, it took years, so perseverance is required as you retrain your brain. 

My life’s purpose is to empower women with knowledge, enabling them to embrace their true identity as defined by God and live authentically for Him. 

Don’t become a Slave to the Lender

The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender. Proverbs 22:7 (NIV)

I wish I could tell you that I have always been good at saving money, but that is a discipline that was never taught to me as a child as we didn’t have money to spare.

Growing up I watched my mom pinch every penny to make sure her three children were fed and I am pretty sure that a lesson on money management was not on her parenting radar.  So unfortunately when I had money, I spent money.

Fast forward a few decades, I now teach budgeting classes. I use the verse from Proverbs  

The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender.  Proverbs 22:7 (NIV)

to teach men and women about the dangers of credit cards, we tote the note lots and cash advance places. 

But now there is a new danger, especially to newly opened businesses, that I hadn’t given much thought to, until recently. 

Being a newly registered business, when the junk mail started arriving, I just assumed I had gotten on someone’s list. I rarely open this type of mail but for some reason this letter caught my attention. 

DO NOT DISCARD

“DO NOT DISCARD”

Inside was a “pay to the order of” and in very fine letters, it read “this is not a check, it is a loan and by cashing it you are agreeing to our terms.”  This made me go back and open the rest of the mail. 

In a week’s time I had “checks” I could have cashed totaling over $100 thousand dollars.

 

What if I hadn’t known any better? What if I truly thought it was a gift? Stranger things have happened right? 

The challenge would have been when all those loans had come due.  They will get their money some way and truth be told, how many of us actually read all the terms and conditions? 

When you sign your name and either cash or deposit that check, your payment plan starts and you become a slave to that lender. 

And if all those checks weren’t bad enough, the pre-approved credit cards started piling up as well. 

Here is my two cents: Don’t fall for the schemes of those who send you unsolicited mail. If you are in need of a line of credit or a credit card, talk with a financial advisor. 

If you have already fallen prey, make a plan to get out from underneath that obligation as soon as possible. Whether that be by paying it off or coming up with a plan to pay it off quicker. 

Don’t do it alone.  

Find a coach to help keep you accountable and to get your cash flowing a different way.  

There is also another verse in the Bible that I love, especially for new businesses. 

Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin,
to see the plumb line in Zerubbabel’s hand.” Zechariah 4:10 (NLT)

And lastly the verse in Luke is great for business owners.


 “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones.
But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.
Luke 16:10 (NLT)

Lord I am sorry for what I have made it

Almost twenty years ago my husband found these verses in Romans. We quickly adopted them as our life verses. 

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:1-2 (NIV)

We decided in 2002 that we were no longer going to go with the flow of society but go against the grain.  We were going to live this out every day. We would renew our mind and be transformed. We wanted to offer our bodies as a living sacrifice. We were ready to go and do what the Lord asked us to do. 

Fast forward to 2020. I have always known there was a “therefore” to start Romans 12. I had also been told that you always need to stop and find out what the “therefore”is there for. 

Ok I get it better late than never right? 

I decided to just go back one chapter to 11, and start reading. Wow! I think I had skipped that chapter in all my readings. Paul is giving his partial resume, then he is talking about how we have been grafted into the family of God. I was really loving it until I turned the page in my Bible and read verse 35. 

“Who has ever given to God, that God should repay them?

In following the rabbit trail of reference verses it took me to Job chapter 41 verse 11. God is talking: 

Who has a claim against Me that I must pay? Everything under heaven belongs to Me.

Why did those verses bring me to my knees? Because I need to repent. I cannot tell you how many times I have prayed this prayer; 

“Lord thank you for allowing me to be your hands and feet.” 

Then in the next breath would come this… 

“Lord when will it be my turn to see a blessing? I have done all this for You. When, Lord? I am tired.”

When God showed us the verses in Romans it was supposed to be a motto to live by. It ended up being the foundation to a ministry that was extremely taxing, not just monetarily, but also physically and mentally. 

I am forever grateful that I was afforded the opportunity to be in full time ministry for so long. I am not proud of the jealousy, competition, and the business it became. Instead of a time to walk in a relationship similar to the outline found in Titus 2, it became about numbers of lives changed on a spreadsheet in order to keep the funders happy. 

And in turn my prayer was no longer, “God I offer my body as a living sacrifice,” but “Lord, look what I am giving up. So what’s in it for me?”

My prayer for 2021 is going to be, Lord, I offer myself. Grant me knowledge and wisdom that can only come from you. Lord embolden me to tell others about Your greatness, not because of what You may or may not do, but because of Who You are.” 

Our job as Christ followers is to glorify God for no other reason than because He Is the Great I AM. I will end with Psalms 145:1-3 (NIV)


I will exalt you, my God the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever. Every day I will praise you and extol your name for ever and ever. Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; His greatness no one can fathom.

“It” will Rule You

As I was researching the scriptures for a study I am writing, these verses in Genesis stood out.

Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” Genesis 4:6-7 (NIV)

Cain’s offering was not acceptable to the Lord. The scriptures record just earlier in the paragraph that “In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord.” (vs3)

In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits… not first fruits… just some.

Then the Lord continues talking with Cain. “Why are you angry?”

I wonder how many times God really wants to look at us and ask “Why are you upset?” 

God already knew Cain’s heart. God was warning him. Sin is crouching at your door. It desires to have you. You MUST rule over it. 

This was a warning to a man whose anger was about to get the best of him. Not but a few verses later, Cain has killed Abel. 

This made me think how many warnings God has given us? Sin is crouching at your door…. YOU MUST RULE OVER IT… 

The problem is many times we get in a cycle of letting life happen and therefore we allow the desire of “it” to rule us. 

What has God been warning you to rule over before it takes you? 

Cain’s was anger and jealousy. 

Is yours anger or losing your temper? 

Is it gossip, jealousy or a sexual sin?

What about laziness? Or is it being a work-a-holic? 

Maybe it’s an addiction that you may find yourself slipping back into? 

I pray today is the day that you listen to the Lord and heed His warning to start ruling over “it” before the consequences of it taking over you involve others and not just yourself. 

The Day I Questioned: Would I Have Been Served

The morning started off with a bang. The fog wasn’t the thickest she had ever seen, but for whatever reason this type of weather made drivers lose their minds. She had already been called out to more than a dozen accidents and was grateful that the majority were minor fender benders. 

She had been patrolling the small country town less than a month, and it was apparent that she wasn’t from around there. Being new to this particular force, she decided her mission was to make it work, not only professionally but also socially. 

Driving through the town square, she was greeted with ecstatic waves from children who appeared happy that school had been canceled once again for inclement weather. Seeing the families embarking on the town, reminded her that the forecast was for snow but feeling the heat from the rays permeating the glass and looking at the dashboard where it read the outside temperature was sixty-four degrees, she started to chuckle.  

The grumble coming from her stomach told her it was time to stop for lunch.  Turning back west to make one more round through the town, she spotted it. The local burger joint that many had been talking about. Exiting her vehicle, the smell of greasy burgers made her mouth water.  And if she wasn’t sold on it yet, written across the front plate glass window were the years in a row the owner had been given bragging rights to the best burger in thirteen counties. 

Taking the few short steps to enter the building, she did a double take. Yep, there was an open sign. As she placed her petite hand on the stainless steel door handle, a spark made her jump but didn’t stop her from walking in the door. 

Once in she wasn’t sure she was that hungry anymore. The waitress was behind the bar when their eyes met. The server’s smile quickly turned to a look of disgust and she did a swift turn of the head.  

Lisa, being a police officer was trained to watch for hidden words and to be aware of her surroundings, but today she missed out on all the subtleties and took a seat.  After what seemed to take longer than she thought was permissible, seeing only three other tables were occupied and they had clearly been eating for a while, the server came to take her order.

“What do you want?” 

The server’s tone caught Lisa off guard and by this time, her radio was going off in her ear and she would need to forgo lunch right now. 

“I’m sorry.” Lisa replied, “I need to take this call.” 

As she turned to walk out the door, a typed sign, in large, bold letters caught her attention. 

“WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO REFUSE SERVICE TO ANYONE, ANYTIME” 

Not wanting to cause a scene, she had to wonder, was it the uniform or the color of her skin? 

This may or may not be a fictional story, but in my recent travels to a very small town, as I entered the building, I felt something just not right. There was just an aura that made my antennas go up. 

Taking a seat, I started to look around. Sure enough I spotted a sign “WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO REFUSE SERVICE TO ANYONE, ANYTIME.”

For the next thirty minutes I was on edge. 

What did that sign mean? 

Why was that sign there? 

If I were a police officer would I have been welcome?

If I were black would I have been welcome?

If I had worn a political shirt that she didn’t agree with, would I have been served? 

If I had been of a different sexual orientation would I have been served? 

I hate to admit the hamburger was amazing, and on the same note I hate to admit that I supported an establishment where many of my friends would not have been served. 

Lord Heal Our Land

5 am clock

The house was dark and quiet and it felt like I had just fallen asleep but yet as I rolled over I was wide awake. It was five in the morning.  I had been telling God that I wanted to start getting up early to really get some great study time in so now I had a choice.

The alarm wasn’t going to go off for another hour, but God nudged me about my saying I wish I had more time.

I made my coffee and sat down in my chair. Purposely I laid my phone out of reach and turned it face down.  Facebook is my kryptonite, and it is a habit I need to break.  

As I started to journal I found myself not really praying for family and friends, but for our land.

Many times this year I have either heard or seen this snippet of a prayer, “Oh Lord Heal Our Land.”

Knowing these words in some form or fashion were in the Bible, I grabbed my phone and googled the words “heal our land”.  At first it came up with Youtube videos for songs and lyrics, so I advanced my search to add the word “Scripture.”

It took me to 2 Chronicles 7:14 

if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

As I read that scripture I was convicted that once again… we want the blessing of the passage and gloss right over the requirements on our part. 

God appeared to Solomon (vs 12) and told him that “IF” my people.  Unfortunately all our prayers have been “God heal our land.” 

I want to look at the “If my people statements.” 

If my people will humble themselves

To humble ourselves means to think less of ourselves. As I was studying the passage in Second Chronicles it referenced Leviticus 26:41. 

When I have turned their hostility back on them and brought them to the land of their enemies, THEN AT LAST their stubborn hearts will be humbled and they will pay for their sins. (NLT)

Have we had stubborn hearts? Have we made everything about grace and not living a holy life? 

If my people will pray.

I am not sure about you but I pray.  But my prayers sometimes get to be more about my Christmas List than a dangerous prayer like the one we find in Psalms 139

Search me, God and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. 
Psalms 139:23-24 (NIV)

Are we willing to ask in prayer; God search me. If there is any offensive way in me…. lead me in the way of everlasting?

If my people will seek My face

To seek means that we attempt to find.  Do we attempt to find God? Years ago there was a saying from a popular bible study that went something like this, “find where God is and join Him.” 

Again I am not sure about you, but if I am being honest, I do more leading and asking God to follow. 

In 1st Chronicles 16 verse 11 is states: 

Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face ALWAYS. (NIV)

How do we seek His face always? One way I believe is to use the Holy Spirit that dwells in us as believers, in our lives daily. The job of the Holy Spirit is to teach, guide, comfort and intercede. I think we need to get back to asking the Holy Spirit to be our teacher instead of google, the pastor or even our friends. 

If my people will turn from their wicked ways….

We live in a fallen world. We have since Adam and Eve. There are many hot topics today and I have seen more hurt especially this year (2020) than I think I have seen in years combined. 

Instead of banning together as brothers and sisters in Christ we have allowed satan to find the cracks in our personal foundations and quickly expose them for what they are, living in our wicked ways. And just as satan was planning, we are sprinting into our wicked ways. 

In Zechariah 1:4 God is talking and says, 

“Do not be like your ancestors, to whom the earlier prophets proclaimed: This is what the LORD Almighty says: ‘Turn from your evil ways and your evil practices.’ But they would not listen nor pay attention to me, declares the LORD. (NIV)

So what are our evil practices? I am not going to use the clobber verses from Galatians 5, we know those all too well and we use them when it is convenient to shame others.  But what I will say is that we need to take a strong look in ourselves and start ridding ourselves of our worldly ways.  

There is an old proverb that many think is in scripture somewhere that says,  “Don’t be so heavenly minded that you are no earthly good. 

When I googled to find the address of that verse, I was met with three verses, and the quote by Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

1 Corinthians 15:58 

Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord , because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. (NIV)

Galatians 5:1 which states 

that it is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.  (NIV)

And the bomb was Philippians 1:27 

Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in the one Spirit, striving together as one for the faith of the gospel. (NIV)

Nowhere do I see that we aren’t to be too heavenly minded.  What I do see is that we are to stand firm. Conduct ourseves in a manner worthy of the gospel of CHRIST. And give ourselves fully to the work of the Lord. 

Before we pray for God to heal our land, I think we need to start looking deep into ourselves and ask if we have bought into the “don’t be so heavenly minded” that now we ARE so earthly minded that we are no heavenly good. 

2 Chronicles 7 also referenced back to chapter 6 where it also said that we need to 

  1. Humble ourselves by admitting our sins
  2. Pray to God, asking for forgiveness
  3. Seek God continually
  4. And turn from our sinful behaviors

Remember that true repentance isn’t a mere prayer, telling God you are sorry. It is walking with a changed behavior. 

As I was finishing my quiet time, I was convinced that this was not just about asking God to heal this land, but it needed to be how I approach all my “asks” of the Lord.  

I need to make sure I am in a right posture to have God hear. 

When it doesn’t seem God answered the prayer.

From the day that my oldest daughter, Amanda, told me she was expecting I started to pray for the pregnancy. I was assured that because she wouldn’t be 35 prior to the birth, she was not considered high risk. Seeing I lived over 800 miles away all I really could do was pray.

So my prayers for the next nine months consisted of praying for a safe delivery. I prayed for a healthy baby. I even prayed for her pregnancy to be free from stress because I know from my years of teaching, that the first 9 months in utero are extremely important to a baby’s development not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.

On Mother’s Day I was finally told his name. It was supposed to be a surprise, but in the midst of Covid, the gift that bared his name, was lost in the shipping world, so they didn’t make me wait any longer, this little peanut’s name was RJ.

From then on I prayed for him by name.  Over and over I would pray for a great pregnancy, safe delivery and a healthy baby. 

I also prayed from the very beginning, that he would always know the Lord and serve Him with his life.

The just over 9 months flew by and it is time for RJ to enter the world.  Amanda and her husband are in the hospital on August 29,2020 and RJ comes out screaming.  We joke and say that he is yelling PUT ME BACK! 2020 sucks. But RJ is a healthy 6lb 10oz ball of joy.

The waiting is over, the excitement is done because we can’t go see him anyway, so off to bed. My phone starts ringing right after midnight.  My husband kicks me awake, but it takes me a minute to get my bearings because I am in a different bed and my phone is in a different place.

Hello, I finally answer groggily.

I finally hear a hello through the tears.  RJ is in the NICU. The nurse didn’t like what she heard.

It takes me a moment to comprehend what she is saying because I didn’t understand how a healthy baby just a few hours ago is now in NICU.

Ok, let’s do what we know how to do, pray.  We hang up, and in the morning we find out he was only there for about 90 minutes and everything is okay.

The following day we are talking about what day and time they will be released from the hospital and once again in the middle of the night my phone goes off.

Mom…

He is now in the NICU with a feeding tube. I ask what is wrong. My daughter is attempting to tell me but the nurse had on a mask and mumbled the words.

Amanda tells me she thinks the nurse said they were calling in an Oncologist. I knew that couldn’t be right, that was for cancer.  So I said maybe she said Neurologist.  That made more sense.  We read Psalms 91 together.

The next morning, we finally find out they were waiting for the neonatologist to come in and do her rounds.

The following week was a roller coaster. We were waiting for transport to take him to a children’s hospital. Then they called and said it’ll be tomorrow. Tomorrow became if they don’t come…. Basically he was stable and the NICU was full at the other hospital, but that meant we couldn’t get answers.  So we didn’t know if we needed surgery, feeding tube for the rest of his life or what.  Finally, they wanted to do a telehealth meeting with a speech pathologist. Depending upon what she saw, she would re-evaluate. 

That little stinker started to drink from a bottle. Yeah! Praise God.

That started a slow process of drinking from a bottle and getting his feeding tube removed.  The next step was being released from NICU to a regular room and then being able to go home after that. 

If I am going to be transparent, I was not happy with God. I had prayed and prayed for a healthy pregnancy, safe delivery and a healthy baby.  Why did God let me think all was okay but then RJ end up in NICU, not able to eat?

I posted a picture and message to a private group on Facebook to ask for prayer, for healing, for answers.

I know it was the prayers that allowed my daughter to get through this like a champ. The specific prayers of healing over a baby they had never met, were being answered.

We are finally coming to an end of the tunnel. The last thing to be done is the circumcision and then he can go home.

As I was sitting there thanking God for healing, I was also asking God to forgive me because I got mad that RJ was in NICU, something was mentioned that made me count the days. 

8 days!

The child was circumcised on the 8th day.

I started to cry. My bigger prayer was that RJ would never not know a day without the Lord and that RJ would be a Christ follower.

In Genesis 17 you find the covenant between Abraham and God.

You are to undergo circumcision, and it will be the sign of the covenant between Me and you. For the generations to come every male among you who is eight days old must be circumcised.

Then I remembered Amanda sending us a picture while RJ was in NICU. He and his dad were doing skin to skin contact and RJ reached out and grabbed hold of Ryan’s cross necklace and she told us he wouldn’t let go.

When I started recounting the events of the first 8 days of RJ’s life outside the womb, I stand in awe of God and His miraculous works.

But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15

Do You Know the Shepherd’s Voice

Good deeds proper worship

Good Deeds

During my study today in Revelation, it was talking about how all our prayers are incense.

Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of God’s people

It cross referenced Psalms which was talking about how we worship

I call to you, Lord, come quickly to me; hear me when I call to you. May my prayer be set before you like incense; may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice.

This then took me to 1 Timothy chapter 2 where Paul is talking about how men and women are to worship.

Therefore, I want the men everywhere to pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or disputing. I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.

The last part…but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God really spoke to me especially as I have been scrolling Facebook lately.

There have been many posts over the last few months that were related to “since Covid we haven’t gotten our hair or nails done.”  There have even posts that said something to the effect “couldn’t wait to get back in “so and so’s chair” so they could fix our mess.

Please hear me, there is nothing wrong with getting hair and nails done.

But the more I have scrolled it has saddened me how far many have derailed from the truth of scripture. How we have allowed the past 5 months’ tear friends and families apart? The anger. The loss of hope. And just that quickly we now don’t trust each other.

What convicted me was, “appropriate for women who profess to worship God.”

Here we are in the middle of August. We don’t even love our friends who sat next to us in church anymore.  They are the enemy.  The news has become our only source of hope and truth.

Decades ago when I was just beginning my walk in the church, and I say walk in the church because I know now that it was just a lifestyle because where I lived it was a way of life and what was expected, I remember stumbling over the scripture in Matthew 7,

Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.  But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a FEW find it. (emphasis mine)

Everyone I knew went to church. Everyone I knew was a “Christian”. How could only a FEW find it? But after watching 2020, with church buildings being shut down, John 10 scares me for many who like me years ago, went to church, followed a dynamic speaker, and found my fellowship with other church goers who adorned themselves with elaborate hairstyles, gold, pearls and or expensive clothes, but when push came to shove, there weren’t any good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.

But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.”

I am afraid many are running to the stranger’s voice because they truly don’t know the Shepherd’s.

Learning to Waltz, Learning to be Led

I was learning to Waltz, but I was also learning to be led

A few years ago, Rob and I were invited to take a dance class and part of the package was a private lesson.

On that particular Monday we showed up ready to learn the Waltz. Philip, our instructor, not only showed us the proper posture but he went on to explain “the why” behind it. The lesson didn’t go as planned.

The next day as I was reading, praying and asking God for guidance, I had an AHA moment.

The Waltz:

The man leads.

He applies pressure to the shoulder area of the back and off you go….

BUT….

The women doesn’t just follow, because she is always going backwards. She has to trust the male to lead.

The male is dancing them gracefully in and around the dance floor and the women’s part? TRUST his direction.

Right?  Well that’s not all.

The other part is, ONENESS.

As the man is leading, in order to turn, you will switch feet.  The woman needs to be one with the male or there will be clumsiness, and fumbling.

They can get back in sync but they may have to stop and start over.

As a person who has the personality of take charge, let me do it, and I’ll figure it out as I go, the Waltz was not easy for me. I was always wanting to take over. But that was not the way the Waltz was intended.

I feel like my relationship with God is like doing the Waltz… He is leading. I have to trust. I have to remember that He can see the end game, I can not.

But if I am not spending time with God, how will I know the trust part. How will I be in sync with what He is doing, twirling me around the picture of Bible open with Bible Study paperworkdance floor called life.

I won’t get graceful on the dance floor if I don’t practice, and the same goes for my “Waltz” with The Lord.

If I don’t take time to learn, read, grow, pray and practice, I will always be fumbling, trying to take the lead, thinking I know best and never becoming the person God created me to be.

How’s your “Waltz” coming?

 

Driven By Fear

List making As of 9am September 21, 2018, we had been residents of Cape Coral Florida for all of 19 hours.

I was hurrying us along. I had a list a mile long,

  • Get Driver’s License
  • Get Vehicles tagged
  • Get Permit
  • Get post office box
  • Go to bank x2
  • Go to Lowes
  • Go to Costco
  • Go to Bookstore
  • Go to Sprint
  • Go to Thrift store
  • Get Lunch

Well not really a mile long, but you get the picture.

As you can see it was a hefty list. My excuse is that I am a Type A person. I was ready to hit the list and get it done.

All of a sudden my husband looked at me and made a statement that stopped me in my tracks.

“Your step-father is not going to tell you; you can’t do something on your list.”

This statement has haunted me all day long.

I realized there is a fine line between getting things accomplished in a timely manner, and working yourself though a list because of FEAR.

When I was growing up I learned a pattern of living that said, you can have all the goals, lists, etc in the world; you may be walking out the door and have all the permissions in the world to leave to accomplish your list, and without warning or reason, be told you can’t go anywhere. Just because.

That simple statement has had me in a thought all day.

This was just another aha moment for me.

“What are my motives?”

If you would ask people, they would say I was driven. Today I realized I have been driven, but the underlying factor was fear of being told I could not do it.  So I would hurry up and finish it so “he” could not take it away.

Today I choose to be driven, because I want to be the best of who God called me to be and not in fear that God will change His mind and tell me I can’t do it, just because.

 

 

 

 

photo from Unsplash. inbossmode.com