When it doesn’t seem God answered the prayer.

From the day that my oldest daughter, Amanda, told me she was expecting I started to pray for the pregnancy. I was assured that because she wouldn’t be 35 prior to the birth, she was not considered high risk. Seeing I lived over 800 miles away all I really could do was pray.

So my prayers for the next nine months consisted of praying for a safe delivery. I prayed for a healthy baby. I even prayed for her pregnancy to be free from stress because I know from my years of teaching, that the first 9 months in utero are extremely important to a baby’s development not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.

On Mother’s Day I was finally told his name. It was supposed to be a surprise, but in the midst of Covid, the gift that bared his name, was lost in the shipping world, so they didn’t make me wait any longer, this little peanut’s name was RJ.

From then on I prayed for him by name.  Over and over I would pray for a great pregnancy, safe delivery and a healthy baby. 

I also prayed from the very beginning, that he would always know the Lord and serve Him with his life.

The just over 9 months flew by and it is time for RJ to enter the world.  Amanda and her husband are in the hospital on August 29,2020 and RJ comes out screaming.  We joke and say that he is yelling PUT ME BACK! 2020 sucks. But RJ is a healthy 6lb 10oz ball of joy.

The waiting is over, the excitement is done because we can’t go see him anyway, so off to bed. My phone starts ringing right after midnight.  My husband kicks me awake, but it takes me a minute to get my bearings because I am in a different bed and my phone is in a different place.

Hello, I finally answer groggily.

I finally hear a hello through the tears.  RJ is in the NICU. The nurse didn’t like what she heard.

It takes me a moment to comprehend what she is saying because I didn’t understand how a healthy baby just a few hours ago is now in NICU.

Ok, let’s do what we know how to do, pray.  We hang up, and in the morning we find out he was only there for about 90 minutes and everything is okay.

The following day we are talking about what day and time they will be released from the hospital and once again in the middle of the night my phone goes off.

Mom…

He is now in the NICU with a feeding tube. I ask what is wrong. My daughter is attempting to tell me but the nurse had on a mask and mumbled the words.

Amanda tells me she thinks the nurse said they were calling in an Oncologist. I knew that couldn’t be right, that was for cancer.  So I said maybe she said Neurologist.  That made more sense.  We read Psalms 91 together.

The next morning, we finally find out they were waiting for the neonatologist to come in and do her rounds.

The following week was a roller coaster. We were waiting for transport to take him to a children’s hospital. Then they called and said it’ll be tomorrow. Tomorrow became if they don’t come…. Basically he was stable and the NICU was full at the other hospital, but that meant we couldn’t get answers.  So we didn’t know if we needed surgery, feeding tube for the rest of his life or what.  Finally, they wanted to do a telehealth meeting with a speech pathologist. Depending upon what she saw, she would re-evaluate. 

That little stinker started to drink from a bottle. Yeah! Praise God.

That started a slow process of drinking from a bottle and getting his feeding tube removed.  The next step was being released from NICU to a regular room and then being able to go home after that. 

If I am going to be transparent, I was not happy with God. I had prayed and prayed for a healthy pregnancy, safe delivery and a healthy baby.  Why did God let me think all was okay but then RJ end up in NICU, not able to eat?

I posted a picture and message to a private group on Facebook to ask for prayer, for healing, for answers.

I know it was the prayers that allowed my daughter to get through this like a champ. The specific prayers of healing over a baby they had never met, were being answered.

We are finally coming to an end of the tunnel. The last thing to be done is the circumcision and then he can go home.

As I was sitting there thanking God for healing, I was also asking God to forgive me because I got mad that RJ was in NICU, something was mentioned that made me count the days. 

8 days!

The child was circumcised on the 8th day.

I started to cry. My bigger prayer was that RJ would never not know a day without the Lord and that RJ would be a Christ follower.

In Genesis 17 you find the covenant between Abraham and God.

You are to undergo circumcision, and it will be the sign of the covenant between Me and you. For the generations to come every male among you who is eight days old must be circumcised.

Then I remembered Amanda sending us a picture while RJ was in NICU. He and his dad were doing skin to skin contact and RJ reached out and grabbed hold of Ryan’s cross necklace and she told us he wouldn’t let go.

When I started recounting the events of the first 8 days of RJ’s life outside the womb, I stand in awe of God and His miraculous works.

But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15

Leave a Reply