Month: February 2016

I panicked and became the church

In 2011 I was in an interview that would change my life.

We were in what I have named, “the weekend from hell”.

During this weekend, little sleep was given and you were put to all kinds of tests. The objective was to see if you were called to plant a church.

Even though I can’t go into many details of the weekend, I want to share this one event, because even today, 5 years later I think back to that day and say, “Who was that, that was not me.”speaking

My task was to teach a mock Sunday school class. I had to come up with original material and it could not be anything I had already written or taught on. I stayed up late preparing and was excited for the task the next day.

The day progressed and it was finally my time.  I was being judged and in my class was the wife of the leader. I was so nervous because this was a church planting assessment, so I had picked a good ole church passage and church lesson. I was all out of sorts, because if you know me this is NOT how I write or teach. I share from my heart; I share what God has been showing me.  I DON’T flat out make up a Sunday school lesson.

The participants were kind as I started and was fumbling along.  Then out of left field, one of the participants took on a “character” that was definitely not someone who would voluntarily come to church.

This characters line of questioning and her answers threw me and I panicked. My husband said, “I would not have believed it if hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. You panicked and became the church.”

There was no compassion to find out who this person was.  There was no, “Hey’ let’s get lunch afterwards.” There was no, “Lets finish this lesson, because it sounds like you have many questions, maybe we could meet for coffee.”

No it was—- well we will put the lesson aside and you WILL become a Christian, right here….right now.

Needless to say I flunked that interview, but what I did learn was that I cannot change the way I teach Bible because I was being interviewed. God has gifted me to use real life situations, accompanied with His word to bring people to a transformed way of living and ultimately into relationship with Him. For that I am eternally grateful.

The valuable lesson I learned that day; stay true to how God created me to teach His word.

So you want to start an Inner-City Youth program

In 2003, God called my husband and me away from 2, 6 figure incomes to become Stateside Missionaries.  For the past 13 years I have given my all to families who are broken.  My children have commented, at times, it felt like I cared more for the moms than I did my own family.

My husband has written a book called “Breaking the Broken: Debunking the Myth of Social Justice”.  This book is not just a tidbit of our story, but more importantly Gods plan to redeem the poor to dignity by walking with them in relationship.  The challenge comes when everyone has their own idea of how things are to work instead of using Jesus as our example. Jesus healed people. Jesus gave people dignity. Jesus empowered people to take care of themselves.

As I sat in court this morning my heart broke not just for the kids, but also for the mothers, because both are a product of their environment.

I tell people all the time that most of the moms we work with are just children in parent bodies. They are trying to navigate life without the needed tools.

How do we change this?

Have we ever considered expanding your Inner-City Youth programs and making them Inner-City Family Programs?

While having fun with kids is important, did you include the parents?  Did you know that there could have been a father figure in the home? Did you know that you just added to his belief that he will never be a good enough father?

Did you know that the mom would have absolutely loved to be invited to the “mother-daughter” outing?

An inner-city youth program to be successful, to break the chains off, needs to be intentional: family style.  I mean everyone sit down to the dinner table and become vulnerable to each other.

A truly successful ministry results in families being given the tools to make it on their own through sustainable life services.

Thirteen years ago, we were told by prominent pastors in the area that Against the Grain would never work.  We needed to go back to work and take care of ourselves. That the moms were just going to take advantage of us because they truly did not want to change.  As we continued to serve the moms, helping them to get education and jobs (sustainable changes), other churches and non-profits would start working in the same neighborhood just giving everything away.  There was no training, just vehicles showing up, opening their back ends and flooding the neighborhoods with all the free stuff, one could want. So why would anyone want to learn or try for themselves, when if they just waited a few days, people would show up and give them things?

We met with those that were coming into the neighborhood, because if we worked together and quit giving everything away, there could be sustainable change in the lives of the moms and therefore the children.

I was told that I did not know what I was talking about and the giveaways would continue.  Equipping people to break free from the cycles of poverty is an uphill battle and the constant giveaway programs made it nearly impossible. We chose to refocus our efforts and work to repair the damage give away programs had created. While we continued our relationships in the community we started working with men and women that were incarcerated or previously incarcerated.

Where are those organizations today?  They have long gone onto the next thing, left the neighborhood and in turn left the moms worse than they were. Many of them were on course to do something with their lives, but missed their window of opportunity.

Did you know you only have 5 years to get off the government system? With an action plan one can go to school, get an education and graduate with a Bachelor’s degree before losing all benefits from the government. Many of these women lost this opportunity and are now struggling to survive.

Today as I sat in court, my heart broke because the church has failed.  I have failed.  I allowed others to dictate the outcome.  I allowed the words of others to impact my ability to fight for those we had so passionately adopted as daughters and grandchildren.

You may be thinking you want the fast easy way to change a life but change takes time. Breaking the cycles of poverty is not a microwave dinner.

Relationship is messy and you cannot pick and choose what part of the inner-city family you are going to work with. Life change takes a holistic approach. You cannot change one without working with the rest of them; that is NOT the way inner-city relationships work.

God has shown me that I have a voice in this fight.  God has allowed all this transition to take place so we can become even more fruitful for His Kingdom.

I still work with moms and children, I still work in jails, halfway homes and transitional centers.  I still teach in homeless shelters and low income communities, but in order to be the most effective for God, it is time to train those who want to start an effective Inner-City Family Program. After all, Jesus equipped and trained others to go and do.