For the past couple of years I have struggled with asthmatic symptoms.

At times it has gotten so bad that I would sit in a chair all night sipping hot tea or black coffee just to keep my airways open until I could reach an urgent care facility in the morning. You see my flair ups never happen during regular business hours. 

Recently,  I was told it was a stronghold on me and I needed to find out what it was in my past that was creating the asthma. 

As much as I agree with strongholds and how much havoc they can create in our human bodies; I also know that sometimes God allows us to keep our “thorn”, and we must learn what it means to rely on Gods strength. Paul is a great example in 2 Corinthians 12 he says this:

Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong….

So what if God does not supernaturally heal me?

Do I have any less faith?

Do I quit praying?

Do I quit seeking?

As I was doing a study that was to help guide me through breaking free from whatever it is that is creating my allergies and the asthma, I became very disheartened by the fact they pulled scriptures out of context to say the least.

But just like God does, He wanted me to see something else;  as I was doing this study, it referenced  Mark 11:23 it says:

“Have faith in God,” Jesus answered.  “Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them.

Sounds amazing right? I was thinking I am going to start reciting this day and night back to the Lord… It’s a promise and I am going to stand on it. But just as God does, He said continue reading.

Mark 11:24-25 says:

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.  And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

You see we want the promise without the work.  For me I was mentally preparing my list.. And I was like “yep, I am good”…until I was preparing to write a blog for another website.

As I was writing, I realized I was still holding grudges about a lost childhood, how I was hurt by the church and even bitterness I didn’t know I had. I was allowing satan, even 2, 3, 4, and 5 decades later to still pull the chains.

To me it wasn’t a in your face blatant “hold against you”… It was more about holding onto nuggets of my past so that I could use my story to reach more people. That doesn’t sound so bad.. Right?

Let me explain.  We are hearing more and more “we all have a story to tell”, but when we re-create the story to be more focused on the negative it created versus the positive that came from it, we allow satan to have power over our thoughts which turn into words.  By allowing Satan to have power over our thoughts, we are holding onto the past and not allowing ourselves the freedom to say to that mountain “Go through yourself into the sea, and it will be done”.

So I have a choice today as I tell my story, do I give satan the privilege of allowing the negative words to be heard?

If I do, this could create a victim mindset support group where no one heals, but continually lives the past in order to “hold against” the people and ultimately the Lord.