As of 9am September 21, 2018, we had been residents of Cape Coral Florida for all of 19 hours.

I was hurrying us along. I had a list a mile long,

• Get Driver’s License
• Get Vehicles tagged
• Get Permit
• Get post office box
• Go to bank x2
• Go to Lowes
• Go to Costco
• Go to Bookstore
• Go to Sprint
• Go to Thrift store
• Get Lunch

Well not really a mile long, but you get the picture.

As you can see it was a hefty list. My excuse is that I am a Type A person. I was ready to hit the list and get it done.

All of a sudden my husband looked at me and made a statement that stopped me in my tracks.

“Your step-father is not going to tell you; you can’t do something on your list.”

This statement has haunted me all day long.

I realized there is a fine line between getting things accomplished in a timely manner, and working yourself though a list because of FEAR.

When I was growing up I learned a pattern of living that said, you can have all the goals, lists, etc in the world; you may be walking out the door and have all the permissions in the world to leave to accomplish your list, and without warning or reason, be told you can’t go anywhere. Just because.

That simple statement has had me in a thought all day.

This was just another aha moment for me.

“What are my motives?”

If you would ask people, they would say I was driven. Today I realized I have been driven, but the underlying factor was fear of being told I could not do it.  So I would hurry up and finish it so “he” could not take it away.

Today I choose to be driven, because I want to be the best of who God called me to be and not in fear that God will change His mind and tell me I can’t do it, just because.

 

 

 

 

photo from Unsplash. inbossmode.com