anger

“It” will Rule You

As I was researching the scriptures for a study I am writing, these verses in Genesis stood out.

Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” Genesis 4:6-7 (NIV)

Cain’s offering was not acceptable to the Lord. The scriptures record just earlier in the paragraph that “In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord.” (vs3)

In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits… not first fruits… just some.

Then the Lord continues talking with Cain. “Why are you angry?”

I wonder how many times God really wants to look at us and ask “Why are you upset?” 

God already knew Cain’s heart. God was warning him. Sin is crouching at your door. It desires to have you. You MUST rule over it. 

This was a warning to a man whose anger was about to get the best of him. Not but a few verses later, Cain has killed Abel. 

This made me think how many warnings God has given us? Sin is crouching at your door…. YOU MUST RULE OVER IT… 

The problem is many times we get in a cycle of letting life happen and therefore we allow the desire of “it” to rule us. 

What has God been warning you to rule over before it takes you? 

Cain’s was anger and jealousy. 

Is yours anger or losing your temper? 

Is it gossip, jealousy or a sexual sin?

What about laziness? Or is it being a work-a-holic? 

Maybe it’s an addiction that you may find yourself slipping back into? 

I pray today is the day that you listen to the Lord and heed His warning to start ruling over “it” before the consequences of it taking over you involve others and not just yourself. 

Spewing venom doesn’t end well

In 1997 my marriage was over. The divorce papers were written and we were living in separate places, child support was set, and visitation decided.

But God…

Why do I feel compelled to write this blog?

I saw a Facebook post the other day and it was venom spewing from the mouth of a very hurt woman. Her venom was being spewed towards the other woman. Her other posts were being spewed at her now estranged husband.
My heart was breaking for not only this woman but the many others whose lives are being shattered. We think their lives are being shattered by divorce but in reality they are continuing to be shattered every single day by their lack of love and self respect for themselves.

As I read the words with my eyes, I was really reading it with my heart that has been healed from that same brokenness, we are human beings allowing actions of others to dictate our happiness.

I realize more and more that I am so thankful that social media was not around in 1997 when Rob and I were going through our junk. Many things were said to anyone who would listen. Many tears were cried into my pillow. Many songs were sung at the top of my lungs to stand on the promises of God. I wish I had only said things in private to my one friend.

I seriously believe that in my anger and hurt, I would have taken to social media because it is innate within us that “I don’t care who I hurt. I am hurting so someone else is also going to feel my pain”.

We allow anger to get the best of us.

We don’t control it, it controls us.

The challenge becomes when reconciliation is on the table, you realize that the words spewed in anger cannot be taken back. The words spewed in anger that were meant to sting, to lessen your pain, you cannot take back and now you realize you were just as involved in creating the pain.

Now why do I say also that this stems from a lack of love and self- respect for themselves. I have for many years dealt with the feeling of being unworthy. If you know me and my story, you know that my addiction was not drugs or alcohol but unhealthy relationships. Most also know that Rob’s and my relationship was not so healthy in the beginning.

If you add unhealthy relationships and a feeling of unworthiness, then you get a recipe for disaster and for satan to reek havoc in your life, especially if you are confessing to be a Christian. But because we were not in a right relationship with God we allowed satan to have control. There is no being on the fence with a relationship with God, satan owns the fence.

So as I come to the end of this post, my biggest prayer is that before you take not only to social media, but also “friends, church people, employees etc”, to spew your anger, remember that we are all humans. We all make mistakes. We are not perfect. And just because you are hurt does not make it right to defame or destroy someone else. I still can remember as we were trying to rebuild our lives, how Rob felt as we attempted to find a church and new friends that hadn’t heard about our dysfunction as I was talking to anyone who would listen, to make me out to be a better person than he.image