addiction

Whats your little white pill?

As she walked down the long corridor, her hand naturally touched her hair.  KiKi, her hairdresser had out done herself this time.

Jay started going through her mental checklist, but she could feel the stares.

Before making their grand entrance into the ball room, Jay turned to the mirror hanging on the wall and quickly took inventory.

Smile… check

Lipstick…. check

Running her hand down her dress she felt the strong hand of her husband on the small of her back.  His push was a little firmer  than usual.

Did he suspect anything, she thought?

He leaned in and with a whisper said, “Lets go, its showtime”.

Turning ever so elegantly she took his arm and started counting down the seconds till she could excuse herself to the restroom.

Clutching her little black bag, she could feel the prescription bottle.  Jays whole body started to ache for that euphoric feeling that that little white pill would give her.   Jay first had to fulfill her duties of the customary handshakes and hugs that were required of her as the wife of such a prestigious businessman.

 

How does one get here, when you have everything the world has to offer?

Maybe it was a simple surgery and they sent you home on medication.  After the healing process started, you became afraid of any pain so you simply asked for more.

Its now 9 months after the surgery and you find that this little white pill has become your world.

You may attempt a day or two with out the little white pill… but then the demands of daily life, the demands of keeping up with schedules and events is just easier with a little white pill.

At least that is what your mind tells you.  That is until your doctor suspects a problem and confronts you.

Your world comes crashing in when your doctor says no more.

You now find yourself the wife of a prestigious businessman, on the streets trying every avenue to find that little white pill.

 

You may think this is not your story because its not a “little white pill” that is your crutch to get through the day.

But ask yourself this; what “pill” or “alcohol” is it that I am using to get through the day?

Remember just becuase something maybe “legal” if it is being used to “get through the day” you need to seek help.

But remember the “pill, alcohol etc” is just a result of a deeper issue; so make sure you work all the way back to the root cause.

I have heard from many over the years as they sat across from me in an orange or black and white jumpsuit:  “I can’t believe it  had to get to here for God to get my attention”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If the Church doors could speak

IMG_3491It was rainy and the weather was turning cold.  As I sat in my warm vehicle, stopped at the light, my attention turned to the church across the road. My mind started to drift and all I heard was “what if the church doors could speak?”

What would they say.

“Ouch, why did you slam me so hard, what did I do to you?”

or

“Oh, I love it when she opens the door she never pushes too strong that it hurts my frame.”

No probably not.  But what about these…

“Hey you… you… yeah you… you know I am speaking to you.  You walk in here on Sunday morning all smug like you have no sin to be uncovered.  I saw the way you left your wife and children in the vehicle to fend for themselves in this cold rain.”

“Hey go talk to that couple over there.  Every week they are purposefully late. and leave before the last song is finished.  They sit across the street wait for the doors to shut.  Then they walk up, press out their outfits with their hands, she pats her face one last time to push back the tear stained blush and he takes 3 deep breaths before putting his hand on my handle.  Please someone talk to them before its too late.  They are hurting.”

Or what about….

“Hey ya’ll see that lady who snuck in… yeah her… the one who is looking at her phone so she won’t make eye contact with anyone.  She’s been at my door all week crying.  Look I even have a black streak from her makeup.  Go talk to her, she really needs a friend.”

Or

“Hey ya’ll you don’t know it but I do…there has been a group of people sleeping just outside my doors every night this week.  One of them even came up to the steps and laid their head on my threshold. They were crying and  wanted to know someone cared. They leave before anyone gets here in the morning.  I heard them talking about your sign saying “they are welcome here” but then they said all ‘church folk’ are the same and they really don’t want them worshiping in the same building.”

If your church doors could speak what would they say to you this week.

Remember doing “relationship” ministry is hard.

Its messy.

You will… get mascara stained clothing… I PROMISE.

No Shower will EVER be enough

So why are you here?

Why did you not go to the church?

Her answer: the church doors were locked and I did not know how to get in.  I could see people walking around, but no one heard my silent cries for help.

Why did you not knock harder?

Her answer: I didn’t want to be rejected.  I’ve been rejected for so long by people, that I was afraid to be rejected by God.

Church wake up..these buildings are to be a safe place, a place of refuge 7 days a week.

We are  group of hurting people fear of rejection.  Church please don’t reject us also.  Open your doors.  Open your doors and walk with us.  Don’t condemn us, we can do that on our own.  Don’t look at us with those eyes; you know those eyes that tell us we don’t fit in.  We know we don’t, you don’t have to judge us too, we already feel dirty enough. No shower will ever be enough.  The stank, we have created by our choices, you remind us that it will always be there by the way you walk to the other side of the hallway or sidewalk.

We just need someone to hold us and tell us they love us without expecting anything in return.

We need someone to walk with us in relationship that isn’t afraid to get our stink on them.  That stench we smell, that permeates our skin because we’ve  worn it for so long…..

***If you are this person in this story, please know that Jesus, has not and will not reject you. If you are afraid of being rejected but need someone to talk to please reach out.***