In our 8-week study New Beginnings, we talk about forgiveness right off the bat.  Not only do we talk about forgiving others but we talk about forgiving our self.

When you forgive others, it doesn’t always equate to being friends again. By forgiving others it allows you to move on with your life.  By truly forgiving, you no longer harbor feelings of resentment or wishing ill will.

I started working on the blog/podcast the other day and am finishing it today.  But in the meantime, I had a 6-hour round trip in the car with my husband. During one of our many conversations, I told him that I was still very upset with a situation that happened in July and that I just wished I knew why things had gone awry. I also told my husband that every time this person’s name gets brought up I get sick to my stomach.

Fast forward throughout the day, this person’s name was mentioned a few times in conversations by other people (unbeknownst to them that I was having an issue) and thankfully I was able to contain my emotions.

As I was dozing off to sleep last night, my husband said, as profoundly as he usually does, “Do you really need (that person) to ask for forgiveness or do you need to extend it so that it does not affect you anymore?”

So as I was falling asleep I found myself praying for this person and their family.  I realized that by not extending forgiveness in my own heart that I was allowing satan to steal joy. I was allowing satan to possibly even get a foothold in the kingdom because I was “upset and wanted this person to personally ask me to forgive them.”

What does it matter? In my humanness, I was making it a bigger deal than it was.  In God’s economy I was allowing satan to make change and even prosper.

Forgiveness according to the dictionary means to cease to feel resentment against; to pardon an offense or an offender.

Do you see what it says, to cease to feel resentment against!  This is for you and I.  This is for our well-being.  By not ceasing to feel resentment, I was saying, that I could not forgive.

What if the person you need to forgive is yourself?   Do you find it hard to cease to feel resentment against yourself?

Do you know what happens not only when you don’t forgive others, but you don’t forgive yourself? Satan allows feelings to creep into our lives that reminds us how hurt we were.  What happens when you are hurt? What feeling comes in next? Anger! Maybe just a little annoyance. Maybe we become just a little more curt in our tone than we need to be.  Then before we know it we have hit full blown anger where we are throwing things, slamming doors, cursing, using words to hurt people and unfortunately, those in our paths are innocent people just because we decided we could not cease to feel resentment toward someone or our self.

Also many may not think of this, but if you were hurt as a child, you may have carried these feelings with you into your adolescent years and now you may be directing deep-rooted anger at totally innocent people. You might not realize the true seed from which this anger has grown if from unforgiveness.  These emotional outbursts or angry thoughts and actions are due to feelings that you have not addressed.

It is time to forgive, not only for yourself but for your children. For your well-being. For your marriage. For your relationships.

So what is a practical prayer you can use.

Heavenly Father, I forgive ________(someone or yourself)  I forgive ___________ for:(now write down every past event you need to be forgiven for or forgive someone of) _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I ask that You forgive me.  Father I ask that I would lose sight of the offense, and if I am ever reminded of the offense, that I will dismiss that memory as an old, resolved conflict I no longer want to revisit. Father I ask that I would simply forget the incident and move on with rebuilding healthy relationships as you lead me to do so.  Father, please show me how to love myself the way you do. Father, show me how to turn my offenses into concern for others well-being.  Father, I am moved to forgive myself because I desire to be obedient to you and desire for you to be glorified. Father, I ask that you would forgive me for not forgiving myself before now and remove from my heart any consequences or disease from not forgiving myself in the past. Father I confess that I will need your help to live out this forgiveness and I ask you to give me the strength to live true to the forgiveness.  Father, please bless my life in every way and heal me of any emotional or physical wounds that I have caused from suffering so long.

As I end I want to share 2 scriptures with you.

Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:23 (NLT)                    

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others Colossians 3:12-13 (NLT)

May you find joy in today as you forgive your yesterday.