The Weight of the Wedding Ring

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Every morning before Rob gets ready for the day he weighs himself. This morning he had started to get ready for the day and had already taken off his wedding ring before remembering he had not weighed himself. He stopped, put on his wedding ring and weighed himself.

I laughed and said it’s just a ring why weigh yourself with it? Robs answer was actually very profound: ” yes I weigh myself with my wedding ring on. It’s a part of who I am.” He went on to say,”clothes can be changed, sometimes I have hair, sometimes I am bald, but this ring defines a part of who I am”. This profound answer then got me to thinking the rest of the day about the weight of the wedding ring.

Every day we get up and decide what to wear? Long sleeves, short sleeves, sweater, no sweater, jeans or shorts the list goes on and on….but the wedding ring…we do not choose whether to wear it based upon our outfit….it becomes a part of who we are or does it?

In today’s society marriage is not taken very seriously. It is entered into lightly if at all and for a majority of people they “try it on” before they actually say “I do”.

Marriage, for Rob and I, has been anything but perfect. Even though giving up would have been “easy”….and matter of fact many people who should be considered “pro-marriage”, thought we would never make it.

I remember like it was yesterday: I was upset and I did not “fight well”. Matter of fact instead wanting to fight these were my words: “Fine”, door slam, “you want a divorce, I’ll give you a divorce”. Then another door slam. Not once did Rob ever say he wanted a divorce, I just did not know what else to say.

That day was a defining day for me and our marriage. Rob’s next words were profound: “Meredith, next time you say those words, you had better pack your bags and keep walking”.

That day was the day I realized my threats were empty BUT I did not know how to express my feelings of hurt, so I would just blurt out words. It was also the day that I realized that WEDDING vows were to become a part of who you are, BUT in a day of dispensable marriages, couples saying “when it gets tough we will just quit” why do we wonder, where’s the traditional marriage vows being lived out…”until death do us part”.

So when your spouse puts the ring on your finger; remember it becomes a part of who you are.

It is not something that you change with the seasons or with the changing of an address….

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